Take it easy

Place yourself inside a lazy summer’s day. You’re dozing on a blanket, the sun warm overhead. Flowers are blooming and a bee’s buzzing nearby. You’ve the luxury of an afternoon to read your paperback book, and nothing in the world’s going to bother you.

But how would you feel if you were really in this situation? You might be mentally juggling the probability of things going wrong: wasps in the sandwiches, dark clouds overhead. You may remember all the tasks you could or should be doing instead. Your ear’s alert for the sounds of someone who needs you. You twitch after the minute or so that you haven’t checked your phone, and you pick it up, telling yourself you won’t be long – an hour later, and your afternoon’s disappeared.

It’s hard to take it easy, perhaps more so now than ever. Switching off was a possibility when the relentless news cycle didn’t tell you of all the terrible things in the world, and access to it wasn’t with the swipe of a thumb. These days, although you might have a life of luxury compared to that of your grandparents, it’s hard to enjoy when you’ve a hook around your neck, pressing on your fight-or-flight response and keeping you hyperalert.

The lack of ease extends away from you, towards the ones in your care. If you’re feeling on edge, how can you let little ones explore the limits of their world without worrying about what might happen once they’re out of view?

Yet you also know that being ‘on’ isn’t helping you, or anyone else. A relaxed version of you is one who can respond with ease to life’s challenges. But that person seems so far away, and out of your conscious control. If you’ve ever meditated with an eye on the clock, or rushed to a restorative yoga class to lie, heart hammering, in shavasana, you might recognise how far away that is.

But consider the possibility that it might not be as far as you think. That taking it easy, rather than a nice-to-have, could be plotted into your weekly list. Perhaps it seems counterintuitive to plan in an afternoon doing nothing – and yet, if, right now, you need structure and tasks to hold yourself together, then play to your strengths and drop any perfectionist ideas about a spontaneous lazy hour or two. Instead, just make it happen.

This may mean a bit more discipline. It might involve getting up earlier, or being a bit more self-focused, organising childcare or annual leave. And if the thought of all that just to do nothing makes you feel deeply uncomfortable, you’re not alone. We live in a society that values doing rather than being – and while you might feel permission to attend a therapy session or exercise class, taking it easy implies laziness, and that’s just not allowed.

But the discomfort is part of the process. Taking it easy is, ironically, really hard – especially when you’re not allowed the distraction of your phone to give your brain the illusion of a dopamine-led task. So try to plan it into your week, in whatever way that works for you. Commit to doing nothing for a sweet hour or two. Resist the temptation to do housework or check emails. And you may rediscover a long-ago you – one who could spend an afternoon in the warm sunshine, drifting off to the sound of a lazy bee, with nothing in the world to do but let yourself dream.

© Stephanie Lam 2024 Stephanie Lam is a writer and coach, based in the UK. She writes for Breathe magazine and Gather magazine, and works with people and businesses who value wellbeing and open-heartedness. Find out more on her website stephanielam.co.uk, follow her on Instagram @stephanie_lam_1, or connect on LinkedIn at stephanielam-uk.